This is what I'm thinking
Would you like to listen?
Friday, February 3, 2012

The time I opened my eyes this morning, just as I thought, my eyes were so heavy. As if, there were thousands of eyelids over and overlapping above my eyes. I can barely open my eyes. The moment I walked into the bathroom, the light was like a gigantic sun, ouch, I thought I was blind for that second :s

And then I looked into the mirror. Great, my eyes swelled. I looked horrible. I tried to fake a smile, my god, I looked even worst. With those thick eye bag and the irregular shape of my eyes due to three thick layer of eyelids. I looked like someone hit me in the eye, opps, both eyes I mean.

I thought I would be okay by today. But still, that's was a big fat lie. It's not okay, not at all. Maybe it's not a big deal to you, but it is to me. She's like my family, like my baby. And now she's gone. Well, don't try to talk with me about it, it wouldn't make me feels better. It only hurts me more. As if you used a sharp knife, and stabbed it straight into my heart. Seriously, I don't feel like telling anyone. Just let me write everything here.

I still remember, the first day she came. The cute, fluffy and chubby little puppy. Aww...is anything cuter than that? I was just a kid back then. We tried to play ball with you. Ended up frightened you and you tried to escape at night. All those memories, it keeps rushing back bits by bits. What else can I do? Nothing.

I know one day, it will be okay. But do I really want it to be okay? I'm terrified. I don't want to wake up one day, and forget how she looks like. I still remember to feeling of her fur, the way we used to pat her. I don't want it to go away. I want to lock all those memories with her in my mind, keep it in a protected file. I don't want to get another one. She can't be replaced. I don't want to go through the same pain again.

Missed you. Again


My heartbeat stopped @ 5:33 PM


Thursday, February 2, 2012

Heart pounding.
Tears rushing.
All hidden behind.
Prepared.
Accepted.
Still,
it hurts.

Best ending,
sad for us,
not for you.

No words between us.
But we all know,
deep in our heart,
you're always there.

12 years.
Thank you,
thank you for being a loyal,
and faithful friend all this time.
Thank you,
for loving us even though we were not always with you.

We watched you grown up,
so do you.
You had a wonderful life.
However,
you deserved better.
You're free now,
search for a better life.

It's hurt,
but it set you free from sorrow and the pain you suffered.
Watching you turning from cute and chubby
to skinny and weak,
tearing us apart..

Love you always.
Shall today be remembered.
2.2.2012

There's always you somewhere in my heart.



My heartbeat stopped @ 11:30 PM


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`Jessie here
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